TCM: great; Fox Movie Channel: not so much

Robert Osborne: classy, smart, knowledgeable, a true movie lover and the face of Turner Classic Movies. Three years ago I was in line at a Judy Holliday film festival and saw him leaving the theatre as I was walking in. I leaned toward him. "When will you show 'About Mrs. Leslie?' "Ahh. Shirley Booth.," he said. "That's a good one. It's out of print. " A little wave, without breaking his stride. The man knows his movies, and knows exactly what to tell you in his intros and outrows. He picks interesting themes. There's "Thirty One Days of Oscar," with a month's worth of Academy Award winners in all the categories. Ethnic film festivals, including Native Americans, and the African American one doesn't run during Black History Month, by the way, which is unheard of. What else. "Guest Programmers" who choose four (sometimes five) movies they love and get to talk to Robert Osborne about why they love their movies. And the TCM Film Festival next April, and I'm going.

Tom Rothman: God awful. On Fox Movie Channel. Hosts "Fox Legacy With Tom Rothman," starring himself, which is fifteen or so minutes of his dull anecdotes before the movie starts. Why does he do this? Because he can. It's his studio. He talks about the "alchemy" of movie-making (?), or he yaks his way through through the entire plot, or he states the obvious. I don't need him to tell me how brilliant "All About Eve" is, and sorry, but "Die Hard 2" isn't in the same category. His idea of "programming" is putting the same stupid movies back to back, and calling it a Triple Play, and in the TV promos the poor announcer has to sell this idiocy as if six hours of the same shit is something to look forward to! Classics like "Revenge of the Nerds!" "Zardoz!" "Without A Trace!" (TV Land and Nick At Nite do the same, with four hours straight of "Roseanne," or "Everybody Loves Raymond," or "The Nanny," sometimes "The Cosby Show." They don't even bother to pretend it's some kind of "marathon," this is routine. Eight hours each of 3 sitcoms, and that's a day. And someone gets a paycheck to arrange this. I only hope they'll be affected by the Bush tax cuts, but now that the GOP wants to protect the hardscrabble top three percent of the country that make more than $250,000 a year, those inventive programmers should be fine. )

Before I Forget

I've been seeing the trailers for Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls" (written for the screen, produced, and directed by Tyler Perry, based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire), and the voiceover is by a white man! Not by a "colored" "woman?" Er, what's that about? Not even Keith David?

There's an awful lot of straight hair in that movie. Movin', shinin', hangin'. Whoopi's wearing a turban. I've got to see if there's an afro anywhere in sight.

And by the way, there's a last-ditch GOP ad (more like infomercial, almost a half-hour long) running in some of the states with tight races, that trashes President Obama and brings up all the old crap: Rev. Wright, Obama as secret Muslim, Obama as white-people-hater, Obama as taking your hard-earned money and giving it to ethnics, and so on. Saw excerpts of the commercial on Rachel Maddow's show tonight. And the voiceover on that spot is by a black man. Now, I don't know if this guy is a "true believer" in Republican smack-talk, or if he saw this as a script and a gig so what's the difference; and I know that "we" all don't think alike, and since I've constantly been accused of "sounding white," what the hell do I know? Maybe it isn't a white man's voice on the "Colored Girls" spots, maybe this isn't a black man shilling for the GOP, and who am I to begrudge anybody getting a job. But both ads bugged the shit out of me. So there.

I had a moment of truth this afternoon at the Popeye's drive-through in North Bergen, NJ, on my way home from the Volvo shop. I needed something delicious to eat after paying mo money mo money mo money to get my car fixed. All I wanted was chicken and a biscuit. No sides, no drink, just the meat and the bread, because I already had collard greens (from Whole Foods, way overpriced, like four bucks for two and a half scoops, and I didn't realize that until I paid for them and didn't have it in me to just leave them with the cashier) and was planning on taking my little meal home and maybe eating it at the table.

So I'm getting my thigh and wing, mild not spicy, and a biscuit.

"Anything else?" said the voice in the middle of the menu board.

"Can I get an extra biscuit?"

"Miss, you can get three biscuits for $1.29, would you like three biscuits?"

Of course I would like three biscuits, but I don't need three biscuits. "How much for two?"

"Excuse me?"

"How much would two biscuits cost? I don't want three."

"$1.26."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a dollar twenty-six for two biscuits." The voice waited.

Do you see the dilemna? Spend three more pennies and your biscuit count goes from 2 to 3. This is the kind of pricing that makes gluttony worth it. Jesus, what to do. I worked out twice in the last three days and finally, after more than a year, actually felt a slight ache in my abdomen, as though Saturday's sit-ups reached past the wall of pudge that is my stomach and actually worked a muscle buried deep, deep inside.

I took a deep breath. "I'll just take the one biscuit."

"Three-sixty-three is your total. Drive to the next window please."

I paid, got my bag and drove away. God knows what the Weight Watchers points value was on my yummy meal, but this was a teensy triumph. I passed on the biscuit sale and resisted the chance to overeat. And that was my dinner. A wing, a thigh, the Whole Foods collards (more expensive than the meal itself) and one biscuit.

Shit. Writing this down is making me hungry.

It's Election Eve, 2010. Make sure you vote, whatever you believe.

By The Time I Get To Phoenix, I'll Be Arrested

Arizona's governor Jan Brewer signed a law last week, called SB 1070. It "prohibits the harboring of illegal aliens and makes it a state crime for an alien to commit certain federal immigration crimes." Fine. "Harboring" people who have entered the country illegally isn’t right, and neither is breaking the law, whether you're an "alien" or not. (But can we please not call them "aliens?" They aren't two-headed silver pod-people from outer space, okay?) Next, the bill "...also requires police officers who, in the course of a traffic stop or other law-enforcement action, come to a “reasonable suspicion” that a person is an illegal alien verify the person’s immigration status with the federal government." Wait a second. How do you make the leap from jaywalking to illegal immigrant? Is it the iPod with James Brown and Celia Cruz songs? A pair of hardworking hands that are “suspiciously” dirty? Someone working in a front yard with too many weeds? What? Please tell me.

I talked about the Arizona bill with my neighbor Elsie, 82 year old, the daughter of Italian immigrants who built their own home, brick by brick. Elsie’s proud of her heritage, but we realized that if I lived in Arizona, and I was stopped by the cops, I'd be in big trouble . I always look suspicious, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Add to that a sloppy scarf, sweat pants, barking dog, a single key, plastic bags, and no ID. This "reasonably suspicious" American citizen would be hauled off. But wait a minute -- what about the illegal European immigrants who are in this country? Maybe they didn't slip across a border. Maybe they flew here. What's the difference? They're here illegally working as au pairs, cleaning people, busboys and so on. Would they be stopped? (I don't like saying "they," by the way. We're all people.) Let's be real: this bill is targeted at the browner skinned immigrants.

Did you see the photos from the New York Times piece last week? ("Growing Split In Immigration," 4/26/10) There are two: first, a Latino "illegal resident," chillin' outside his apartment building in an undershirt, with pregnant wife and three other children, plus an unidentified man with his back to the camera. And they’re all milling around the gravel-lined yard. The second is of a "supporter of law enforcement," a white woman neatly coiffed and dressed, on her way into the suburban mall to shop. The “paper of record,” doing their bit to reinforce stereotypes. They made the case for Arizona right there. Well done, New York Times.

The opposition to this bill has grown over the past week from celebrities like Shakira, George Lopez, and Linda Rondstadt; to religious groups, and even one of Arizona’s congressman Raoul Grijalva, who’s called for a boycott of his own state. There’s talk of pulling baseball’s All Star Game from Arizona next year. Conventions there have been cancelled. Illegal immigration is a huge problem, our borders desperately need to be secured, no one is denying that. One color matters to Arizona: green. And maybe losing millions will encourage them to think again.

And by the way...

Curling is stupid.

Analysis should be between a doctor and patient. ONLY.

My heart is pounding as I watch the health care summit. Hey, I'm on the side of the President, and on the side of most of the Democrats. I'll state that straight-up. But what I can't stand is the fact that after opening statements from President Obama and the rude, condescending, lying sacks-of-shit statements from the other side (starting with the disgustingly disrespectful Mitch McConnell and going on from there) what I can't stand the most is the coverage. On both CNN and MSNBC (and I'm a fan of MSNBC, mostly because of Rachel Maddow who is brilliant, funny, and fair; secondarily because I've been a guest on "Hardball" and other MSNBC shows and have always been treated respectfully; and third, because "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" had one of Keith's commentaries last night about his father and his health care that was so staggering that I had to turn it off and cry, thinking of my own sweet father who's death still hurts me deeply)

That was a run-on AND incomplete sentence. I apologize. What bugs me is both networks decided to cut away from the actual meeting and go to ANALYSIS after about fifty fucking minutes. To "discuss" what was just said. After barely an HOUR. "Is it partisan? Who's winning? How's it going?" Somewhere along the line the networks think that we, the viewers, are "fucking retards," to borrow from the disgusting Rahm Emmanuel, not disgusting because it "offended" Sarah Palin, but because Rahm was talking about progressive Democrats. Nice, Rahm.

Anyway, the networks think their viewers are stupid, and don't know what to think about anything. And they are bound and determined to do the thinking for us. And what's scary is that even MSNBC seems to be "spinning" to make this some sort of GOP smackdown, even though, as I write this, Eric Cantor is lying through his teeth about points he's actually agreed to in the past. And every time that the President corrects a lie, or a Democrat says that the Republican issues have been adopted in their bill, the GOP keeps lying and saying that's not true.

Please stop with the analysis. Let us watch, and decide, for ourselves. Who needs Armstrong Williams to comment about ANYTHING, EVER, since he was a paid hack for George W. Bush's "No Child Left Behind" bullshit? Why does he deserve any face time at all?

More on this later. These sons of bitches, and I do mean the entire GOP, are breathtaking in their lies and faux "concerns" for the American people. And it is absolutely obvious that they cannot bear that a brilliant black man is leading this country. Tough shit for them.

How's that working for ya, NBC?

The whole thing was about cutting costs. And since Jay, who was supposed to retire from "The Tonight Show" didn't actually want to retire, and the powers that be at NBC/Universal didn't want Jay to go to another network, but Conan, the new guy, was already scheduled to take over from Jay, what was NBC/Universal to do? Hey, the suits thought, what about this? Let's keep Jay and give him a new weeknight show at 10 PM! Hey, that'll be cheaper! Why pay for 5 dumb 10 PM dramas? Why pay for 5 sets of actors, writers, directors, producers, staff and crew? Jay's show is cheap. He'll save NBC/Universal a lot of money, and drive the ad rates up! Less money out, and mo money mo money MO money coming in for NBC/Universal! (When the suits get excited, they sound like the guys from "In Living Color.")

That was their plan, but we all know what happened. Jay's show tanked, which made the local news tank, which didn't help build an audience for Conan, the new guy. Hey, the suits thought, what about this? Let's move Jay to another new show! A half-hour show that starts at 11:35! And we'll just bump all the other shows back by a half-hour! Hey, that'll work! Jay will get his old time slot back and he won't tank anymore, and Conan gets Jay as a lead-in, and even if "The Tonight Show" technically starts tomorrow, and who cares about the guy after that? And mo money mo money MO money coming in again for NBC/Universal!

But Conan said no. And then last Friday, Conan left the building. And dig this: if you take the 30 million NBC/Universal dollars that Conan walked away with, and add the $12 million he got for his staff (a way- classy move of Conan's, by the way); and add the millions paid to Jay to stay at NBC/Universal and do the new 10 PM show; and add the millions more they had to pay Jay to do the new "oops-our-bad" 11:35 half-hour show; and the additional millions they probably forked over to Jay to return to his old "Tonight Show" hour-long gig; and then add millions more NBC/Universal dollars they're feverishly throwing at writer/producers to create 5 new hour-long dramas, and could you write and produce them like, yesterday?

If you added up all of those millions, it would have been cheaper for NBC/Universal to do the 5 damn hour-long dramas in the first place, and for NBC/Universal to hire actors, writers, directors, producers, staff and crew, and they could have kept thousands of people employed.

Fascinating and stupefying.

I've got to get in on this "fail upward" track.

Dear Mr. President: Fire Rahm Emmanuel. Now.

Dear Mr. President:

Please fire Rahm Emmanuel.

He's not sharp, he's too centrist, and he's got that Clintonian stink (Hillary excluded). Sorry, the guy doesn't have your back, and between the conserva-dems that he helped elect in 2006 and the Veruca Salt "I Want It NOW" progres-a-dems that refuse to see the bigger picture, our party is imploding when it should be coming together on important issues like real health care reform. Single-payer health care reform. “Medicare-For-All” health reform. Real choices for Americans and ending the stranglehold of the health insurance industry. And I trace most of the difficulties in getting any health care bill passed to Rahm Emmanuel's ineffectiveness.

Next? As long as he's the Senate Majority Leader, force Harry Reid to take a public speaking class. (I'm not even going to deal with his "Negro dialect”/"light-skinned” remarks here.) He is a HORRIBLE public speaker and does not inspire confidence. He's dull, marble-mouthed, and looks ill. Not a good representative for anything. Good communication skills should be kept in mind when the time comes to choose the new Majority leader.

And I think that some Americans who don't have a real grasp of Wall Street see you (not George W., and his “no-regulation” boys) as the guy who "bailed out" Wall Street, with taxpayer dollars, while many of them are losing their jobs. And they are furious. They don’t understand how close this country came to an economic meltdown of monumental proportions. They’re just out of work, and pissed at rich people in general. And somehow the GOP, the very wealthy Rush and Glenn, and the nutty tea-baggers are “the people’s party." Yeah. Right. Unfortunately, that kind of simplistic thinking has gotten the most press coverage. Because it’s a great story. But it is a “story.” It’s simply not the truth.

Mr. President, it's obvious that you are trying to bring a spirit of bi-partisanship into the House and Senate, but the Republicans are in lock step and just reject everything you propose. Time to call them out on their opposition, and remind the public of exactly who they are.

The GOP is FOR the health care industry and AGAINST working class people. They are FOR the credit card companies and AGAINST consumer protections and reforms. They are, again and again, FOR the side of big-business and AGAINST the side of regular folks and the poor.

What gets me is that these are the politicians that crow about how “big government” doesn't work; yet THEY ARE the government, at least a part of it. And their very obstructionism is so often what keeps the government from moving forward. Good grief.

One more thing -- you've obviously got your hands full -- get Joe Biden out there every time the evil Dick Cheney (or his daughter, or Mary Matalin, or Rudy Giuliani) tells a lie, or tries to re-write history. Respond quickly to every ridiculous charge. And Vice President Biden can do this well. His remark during the campaign about Mayor Rudy using “a noun, a verb, and 9/11” was brilliant and illuminating. But Dick Cheney is a cut below that -- he's a disrespectful lout. What about inviting him to the White House? You know, the "keep your enemies closer" kind-of thing? If he refused, what an embarrassment to him. He may be a former Vice-President, but Cheney is a homegrown terrorist. By his criticisms of you and current U.S. foreign policy, he has given more aid and comfort to the enemy than any ex-anybody. He's a boil that needs to be lanced.

Anyway, Mr. President, thank you for taking this bizarre job, for being so classy and not losing your sense of humor, for caring about this country, and for making the United States look like it finally got smart.

Wishing you and your family a Happy New Year.

And please, stay safe.

Respectfully,

Nancy Giles

PS: Can't you strip Joe Lieberman of his chairmanship of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee? Or authorize, talk to, "lean on" the appropriate parties to do so? He's useless, he craves power and attention, and he's just not good people. Why should he head any committee? That he claims to be an "independent" is such a joke -- he's bought and paid for by the health insurance industry.

More later.

N.