Please Nancy do something with your hair, you look stupid like that, very unbecoming, are you related to Whoopi? at least you have eyebrows. You sure are a Hillary hater ughhhhh.
Hope not to see you again.
A scared Dem.
Ouch.
The above was a thoughtful note sent to me, via this website.
Look, it's one thing to call me a Hillary hater (which I'm not, for the record, having voted for her in 2000, and having voted twice for her husband -- more on that later). But why the "politics of personal destruction?" Why the nasty dig about my hair? "You look stupid like that." (Capitalization and punctuation mine.) Like what? Can't she (I'm sure it was a "she") at least be specific? I'm assuming the writer isn't a black woman, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's one of the two or three black women I see at any given Hillary's rally. Or maybe this is from Stephanie Tubbs-Jones (short-cropped hair, big toothy smile, she just loves Hillary), or that woman with the big coiled braided 'do who speaks through gritted teeth...what's her name? Sheila Jackson-Lee. (Thanks to my dear friend and human Google Portia for coming up with those names.)
(I wonder: should I add a new last name and hyphenate? Would it change me?)
Or could the writer have been that black fella in the audience last night in West Virginia? Applauding and pumping his fist? The guy with the yellow tee-shirt and scraggly teeth?
(Maybe not "scraggly," but it looked like some things were missing on his top row.
Sorry, but it's true.)
Come home, my misguided sisters and brothers. (More on that later.)
Or is this the note of some angry, sixty-ish, white, feminist, glass-ceiling wounded, passed-over in favor of some male underling, worked all day then picked the kids up from day care and made the kids dinner then your husband comes home and says "what's for dinner" woman?Are you one of those women who used to flip her hair forwards, backwards, bent over, combing, flipping, brushing? Curling it behind your ear? Are you someone who sees braids and locks and different black hairstyles and maybe in an elevator you'll say "I love your hair" even if you're really thinking "what the hell is that," but you want to say something to show you're really "with it?" (NOTE: for future reference, it's perfectly acceptable to remain silent in an elevator. You don't have to say "hi" or even have eye contact. Really.)
We all have hair issues, but it's been really hard on us black women. I always wanted different hair, and I have proof: notebook after notebook of my elementary school doodles of Marlo Thomas' "That Girl" bangs and flip. Everywhere. In the margins, in composition and spiral notebooks, on looseleaf paper, even on pieces of graph paper along with various ways to spell my name (Nancie, Nancey, Nancee, Nansi, NanSee, even Nan C). And after seeing a commercial for Tame Cream Rinse (remember "cream rinse?") I grabbed a comb and a clump of hair, sat myself in front of the living room mirror, and started "teasing" my hair until that clump was one giant dredlock (and we didn't yet know about "dredlocks.") And the fantasies of driving in a Mustang convertible, like Mary Tyler Moore, only instead of being on a highway heading to Minneapolis I'd be hugging the cliffs along Pacific Coast Highway, with my hair whipping in the wind behind me. And then the reality of actually driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the windows open and my hair didn't whip in the wind. It blew straight up, and stayed there. Like Don King's.
Having said that -- I've gotten my hair pressed (it hurt); relaxed (why do they call it that? It's tense as hell, and burned my scalp every time); cut it short (and been called "sir," even in a dress); and had braid extensions (my head felt heavy with the weight of the extra hair). These days, I put molding mud on it, braid it, unbraid it, and hope for the best. I have good days when it can hang on to some texture, and bad days (humid, rainy days are the worst) when I look like Linc on "Mod Squad." But I'm okay with it.
And I think "scared dem" is balding out there, somewhere.
12 comments:
My first reaction upon reading the comment from "A scared Dem" was that I needed to take off my earrings and get some vaseline. I think only your Black readers will understand that reference.
My second reaction was: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
My third reaction was: Bless her heart. Clearly, that person is (if you'll pardon the expression) "bitter", lonely, and devoid of sweet friends to help her through her mental health crisis.
Good Lord.
However, anything that launches a full discussion on the politics, struggles, pain, and triumph of black women and their hair, in my view, is a good thing. We need to talk about this stuff more. And in the open.
And, hey, I dig the "human Google" moniker. Thanks, NanSee. :- )
Hi Nancy, just stopped by to say I appreciated your commentary tonite on Abrams on MSNBC. Although you said it in a nice way, I do believe that Hillary is pandering, and that race most of the time supersedes Gender, and also, how in the world is Clinton going to claim that she has the most popular votes if Michigan only had her name on it? Crazy
don't listen to the hair bigots!! my mother is Italian and she has had dark frizzy hair her whole life. (now it is gray and frizzy). people--especially other women-- are always giving her advice on how to "tame her hair". it's just jealousy from flat haired folk. the same people who complain run out and get perms (duh!)
The one thing all women have in common are bad hair days or do's! Black, white or other-been there experienced that!
Scared Dem- don't be such a hater! Find some love for yourself and I'm sure you'll grow to at least appreciate another's love for themself!
P.S. Nancy, I've done perm, press, twist, braid, cornroll, knot, perm and then back to natural again. It's the easiet...just become one with the kink!
www.lifeisblog.com
Sorry, that was two things, grammer grammer!
You know, I've noticed that we sisters have been on the receiving end of attacks lately--if it's not about our hair, then it's about us being too outspoken (look at the way Michelle O has been attacked). I'm like this: if somebody's got an issue with our natural hair, or can't deal with our strength or outspokenness, then they'd better duck and take cover, because we are not going away, and we are not going to "tame" our hair or shut our voices down.
To the knucklehead with the phd aka player-hater-degree, here's another natural-haired sister saying the following: be afraid, be very afraid, in fact, so afraid that you get scared straight out that small-minded xenophobia.
Keep on keeping on, sister!
Ceridubh
a natural-haired sister who is not only outspoken but a straight up witch
Hi. I am new to Nancy's website, but I saw her on a cable news show today and decied to send her an email. I sent the email before I explored her website. I just happened to stumble across this blog and thought how perfect it would be to post the email I just sent to Nancy. It's a little long, but well worth the read. Thanks...Kat
Hi Nancy. My name is Katherine. I often see you on the cable news shows and really enjoy watching you. I also love your hair and I look forward to seeing you on t.v. so I can get some ideas on how to wear my own natural hair. Which brings me to the point of this email.
When the New Yorker came out the other day with the cover featuring the Obamas, I was more angry about how they portrayed Mrs. Obama's hair. So, I wrote a letter and sent it to a few people and I wanted to share it with you. Let me know what you think and if this is an issue that we need to address. Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you.
Peace and Love...Kat
Reply to New Yorker - July 14, 2008
I am appalled by the New Yorker’s portrayal of the Obamas on the cover of their magazine, today. Not just because the image portrays negative caricatures of the Obamas and continue to propagate false claims regarding their patriotism and religious beliefs, but because it also uses Mrs. Obama’s hair to negatively depict what is truly a beautiful, natural hairstyle—the AFRO—relating it to terrorism, militancy, anger and anti-American sentiments. Representing the Afro in this manner continues to perpetuate the stereotype that Afro-wearing Americans are angry, militant, anti-American, and should be feared.
Well, I am a proud American born with a head-full of healthy, beautiful “God-given” hair. When I wash my hair and let it dry naturally, it becomes a beautiful AFRO. Now, I purposely do not alter my natural hair, anymore (straighten, blow-dry, etc.), but that does not mean that I am rebelling against mainstream America or trying to make a “militant” statement. I am just being the person that God made and managing the hair that God gave me. It is important to emphasize this point because people are under the assumption that the Afro is a purposely-altered hairstyle to attain a specific look, in the New Yorker’s case – angry, militant, anti-American, etc., instead of a hairstyle that is just NATURAL. I run into this all of the time. People will say to me “Go Angela Davis” while they are throwing me the Black Power sign, or “bringing it [Afro] back” (as though it ever left). Let me give you another case in point.
I once rented an upstairs apartment in the house of a 90-year-old, white gentleman. Every morning I would go downstairs to have breakfast wearing my natural hair (Afro). One day, I decided I wanted to wear a straightened hairstyle, so I bought a wig to attain that look. I put the wig on one morning and went downstairs to have breakfast. When my 90-year-old, white, gentleman housemate saw me—he looked at me with a welcomed surprise. He then said, “Oh, I really like your hair that way. It makes you look “more natural.”” Now, this man preferred seeing me in a straight wig because it made me look “more natural” as opposed to wearing my NATURAL hair that apparently to him, made me look unnatural. Well, what I figured out and subsequently told him was that my wig made me look more like him (white) and in turn, made him feel more comfortable with my appearance.
Women with Afro textured hair (including myself) have succumbed to this pressure of looking “more natural” and have permanently damaged their hair by over-heating with “straightening combs” or by applying harmful chemicals to their hair every six weeks, along with heat from blow dryers, flat irons or hair dryers, to make their straight or “more natural” looking. I said to my housemate as I am saying to all who read this now, it is unfair for anyone to judge somebody as being unnatural, militant or rebellious just because GOD chose to make their hair different. Further, I asked my housemate how he would like it if the situation were reversed and he had to look like me in order to be considered a true American? Now, the irony is, that this man knew I was a nice and good person or he would not have let me rent his upstairs apartment, having total access to him (while he was sleeping) and his entire house. The fact that my natural hair made him feel uncomfortable with my appearance is a RACIAL issue that HE has to resolve within himself. In addition, I should not have to alter my GOD-GIVEN appearance to make him or anyone else feel comfortable. Nor is it fair for organizations, people, groups, etc., to use GOD-GIVEN hairstyles to discriminate against people who look different from themselves. Afro hairstyles are NATURAL, UN-ALTERED, GOD-GIVEN hair. And for the New Yorker to use Mrs. Obama’s hairstyle to connote “militant” or “anti-American” sentiments, continues to perpetuate negative racist stereotypes of old.
What my housemate learned by living with an American that looked and acted different from him was that GOD created good people to come in all colors, shapes, sizes, who come from different environments, with different ideologies and backgrounds, and the like. The beauty is—is that we can all come and bring those differences together to solve the many problems we face in our country that affect us all. But, if organizations like the New Yorker continue to perpetuate negative racist stereotypes of old, then we will never heal the wounds of our country and move on to the greater things that the future holds for us.
Once again, to ALL Americans—wearing an Afro for some is just as natural as wearing straight, limp hair is for others. It is not militant, anti-American, nor is it angry. So, when you run into an American wearing an AFRO, just smile and say “hello.” Watch what happens!
Katherine Baber
FOUND ROOTS
(510) 798-7921
A Nation without knowledge of its History is like a tree without Roots. - Marcus Garvey
Hello Nancy Giles. I, too relate to "issues" with HAIR!
Blah, Blah, Blog…™
Original date: Friday June 18, 2004
by The Kid
Guest Writer
Hair
My hair and I have separated. Divorced really. It goes its way, I go mine. Technically, we DO still live together, but that’s just for tax purposes and ’cause I haven’t found any other hair to live with… We never really EVER lived amicably. I don’t know how we even hooked up in the first place!
My hair did used to be… well, maybe I am responsible for it feeling hurt and abandoned and I guess it decided to just leave. But when we WERE a couple, we certainly had our ups and downs.
My hair used to be big. I mean, BIG! I had LOTS and LOTS of hair. Nothing BUT hair! Nothing but long, LONG, thick, THICK hair. For years, my mom tried to get along with it, but it was reluctant to cooperate even with HER!
I’m not saying I don’t have any hair now. I still have a fairly full head of hair, but I certainly have less of it and what IS left continues to act two or three levels MORE cantankerously than what it used to! We’ve all had “bad hair days” but I’ve had “bad hair life.” (Sigh…)
I still have fairly long hair, but I haven’t CUT cut it for about 4 years. That’s because, basically, it hasn’t grown. And I always thought I was being GOOD to my hair! I combed it, brushed it, washed it… Never put chemicals in it… Okay, maybe three, four times in our life together have I put chemicals in my hair. I try to eat properly so the right nutrients get to it…
You know what Hair has been doing for about the last 4-5 years? Like I said, it’s been NOT growing, and it’s been doing kind of like a Don King thing. You know how he gets ridiculed because of how HIS hair just sort of sticks straight up in the air? Yeah, well, mine does that too! But I comb it and I brush it and I’m like, “Hair! – MUST we go through this again today?!!”
Everybody who knows me knows I’ve been wearing the same ponytail for the last 400 years but they probably DON’T know it’s because Hair and I just haven’t been able to agree on any particular hairstyle and I lose patience with Hair and just let it be (except truly “letting it be” means still big, frizzy uncooperative hair in various directions all over my head! Too uncomfortably weird for me.)
Maybe Hair is upset about the perennial ponytail, but God and Hair BOTH know it’s not like I haven’t tried to convince Hair to be different. I guess it figures it’s playing a joke on me because it is different alright, but uncooperatively so!
I don’t know. I always looked forward to the day Hair and I would be a real couple where we would agree to do things together. I also kept hoping that I could and would become comfortable with Hair behaving in its special hair way, but that day didn’t arrive. Unless, of course, I regard this divorce as acceptance that, while Hair and I will continue to share the same living quarters, Hair is who it is and Hair did choose me so I guess it does love me, it just doesn’t want me trying to change it. And so THAT means,
(1)anybody out there who sees me and wonders why the HECK I look like I stuck my hand in a socket someplace, it’s because I’m saving my relationship with Hair, and
(2)if YOU are experiencing some rocky periods with your own hair, just do your best to hang with each other for as long as you can. Okay?
www.lookmaproductions.com
www.mindjabber.com
Oy! That would be
www.lookmaproductions.com
and
www.mindjabber.blogspot.com
Nancy, I say your hair is a wild, wooly, strong, proud kind of beautiful - just like the people who God bestowed it upon. If we took more time celebrating our similarities instead of our differences, we would be partying all the time!!
C.E. Harrison
harrisonartstudio.com
Please Nancy I need your help! I am glad there is a sista-girl who on television can and does support her own "natural" hair. I would love to do that. (And don’t listen to negatives about your hair – it really is beautiful.) But being on the poor and almost destitute end of the financial spectrum I can’t afford to have someone shape and love my hair like yours – I can barely afford my comb right now. Is there any hope (or better yet HELP) for the poor, wanna be natural, sistas?
Ah, to still have hair...
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2005/10/chrome-dome.html
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