"Makeovers" (vintage essay that still applies)

Enough with the makeover shows. Let's just not watch them. They must be stopped.  Enough already with the tummy tucks, the hair extensions, the rhinoplasting, botox-injecting, breast-enhancing, life-coaching, and the on-air revealing.   And the high-fashion strutting.  And the sobbing. At least the Miss America pageant has a talent competition.  What is the “talent” here -- someone else’s idea of a person’s so-called ugliness and the success of their reconstructive so-called “beauty?”

I guess self-acceptance is out, and Stepford is in, huh?  It sure seems that way.  Can't we remember what’s real and what’s fake?  No one really looks like they do in a magazine, or on TV or in the movies.  No one gets up at the crack of dawn and looks crisp, flawless, and well rested.  None of the people that we may be measuring ourselves against even do their own makeup!  They have professionals by their side, trained and ready to hide their every wrinkle and pore.  Don’t get me wrong -- I like makeup, I love makeup artists, and I appreciate every ounce of concealer that makes me look that much less like I have Fred Flinstone’s five o’clock shadow.  But let’s face it.  There is so much more to us than how we look.  Frida Kahlo’s lack of eyebow definition didn’t stop her from becoming a brilliant artist.  And having one big, bushy eyebrow, a horrific combover, and his father’s real estate fortune to build on didn’t hurt Donald Trump, either.  I haven’t seen him on “The Swan.” 

By the way, I happen to like visible signs of aging.  Visible signs of aging have a strange way of reminding me that I’m alive.  When I stop having visible signs of aging, that’ll mean that I’m dead.  And that’s what Botox is.  Dead cells stuck in your face to freeze it.  I don’t think our human faces should be locked in like a lower interest rate -- I mean how young are we going for, anyway?  Thirty?  Twenty?  Twelve??

There are parents out there who have actually given their daughters boob jobs as graduation presents.  What happened to gift certificates?  And what enhancements are they giving their sons for graduation?  The mind boggles. Even one of the Olsen twins, who’ve built themselves a billion dollar empire by being cute, is dealing with an eating disorder.  If that’s not a sign that we’re all just a little bit too involved with how we look, then I don’t know what is.  And, by the way, “ugly” ducklings don’t get surgery.  They become swans when they grow up